Laugh Lines: Ten Tales of Hilarity and Hijinks

Published June 29, 2024
Laugh Lines: Ten Tales of Hilarity and Hijinks is a collection of 10 humorous short stories filled with laugh-out-loud moments, quirky adventures, and situations that will leave you in stitches.

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1. Value

“You always say that after wedding day you realize how valuable happiness is” The wife happily said her husband.
“You are right, it’s life. Only when do you loss something just you lnow the value of it”. The husband replied bitterly.

2. How to live?

"Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?"
"Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But what will you live on?"

3. May I go in to swim?

Overheard on the beach at a coast resort.
Small boy to his mother : "Mummy, may I go in to swim ?"
"Certainly not, my dear, it's far too deep"
"But daddy is swimming"
"Yes, dear, but he's insured".

4. Boying Ambition

"Where any of your boyish ambitions ever realized ?"
Yes, When my mother used to cut my hair I often wished I might be bard headed"

5. Millionaire

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire..."

6. DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater,"Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her,"Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a good girl?"

7. Too short for me

In the Spring fair, a 4 year old child who got lost was crying. A security guard came to console him and said:
“If you don’t want to get lost, you should have gripped your mother’s dress”.
The boy cried sniffingly:
“But my mother’s skirt was too short for me to grip.”

8. A perfect son

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

9. A conversation

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother

10. fish ... fish ... shrimp

During biology class, the teacher asked students:
- Why is flounder so thin and flat?
Vova raised her hand:
- Ma'am, because it was crushed by a whale...
The teacher couldn't control herself:
- Get out of the classroom, and if your parents aren't there, don't come back. We continue the lesson. So does anyone know why the shrimp's eyes are so big and bulging?
Vova came to the door:
- The shrimp was simply there and saw everything.


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